Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Entries from June 1, 2010 - July 1, 2010

Entries from June 1, 2010 - July 1, 2010


Parenting in The Real World: One Bathroom

We are having the upstairs bathroom renovated, (we planned on just fixing the floor but the process has taken on a life of its own) so for the past several weeks we are a one bathroom family of 5. Fortunately the shower has its own separate room in the basement (the joys of a 90 year old house) so we are not waiting to potty while someone is showering.

For the most part it hasn’t been so bad. We have not had to schedule potty times the way we schedule showers to get everyone out of the house on time. There have not been boys reverting to the outdoor peeing of their toddler days. One of our family members is odorous, so odorous I do believe the smell could be used as a weapon. I now keep matches in the bathroom (there are no young children living in our house) to counteract the lingering effect of that member’s toilet use. (I use 8 matches on average to dissipate the smell - matches are way cheaper and more effective IMO than sprays.)

My mom’s parents raised 5 children in a one bathroom house in the 1950’s. Our family is enduring this time of hardship well. I am glad to see them being mature about the situation. (Anyone with teens knows this mild time of mild hardship could have become a royal pain in the neck.)


I will now return to being a grownup.....sigh


The Plot: If You Give A Tiler A Call

I am beginning to suspect the idea of putting the house on the market is a plot by my husband to have me declutter the house. I suspect this because there is a notable lack of enthusiasm on his part to get the house prepped for sale.

We decided to fix the floor in the upstairs bathroom to prepare the house for sale then someone, who shall remain nameless but is not me, decided not to sell the house.

If you give a tiler a call, he will come to your house and give you an estimate.

If you accept the estimate, he will come, tear up the bathroom floor and tell you that you need a plumber.

If the plumber looks at the pipes, he will shake his head and tell you your pipes are not up to code and illegal to boot with all the wrong connectors, and it will only cost one semester of one college tuition to fix it.

If you fix the pipes, you will need to go pick out a vanity based on the tiler’s estimate. You will get to the hardware store look at the vanities and turn to your husband and say,” These are ugly and poorly built and I will not have them in my home.” Your husband will wisely suggest looking at something different and you will wind up buying a vanity and mirror that is 4 times the estimate, but when you are starting at cheap and ugly that is not all that much.

If you expect the job to be completed as planned, you will be wrong.

If you expect that your tiler will do a beautiful job and you will be delighted with his work, if you had our tiler, you would be right.


50 Year Old Gym Novice

I never liked the title 50 Year old Gym Rat, so I changed it to above. I considered 50 Year Old Gym Goddess but if I were to stop going, what would that make me....a 50 year old ex-gym, ex-goddess. What exactly does an ex-goddess do with her life? I plan to work my way up to gym goddess, starting with novice, then apprentice, neophyte, godling, demigod, goddess. I have learned it is a good thing to start humbly and work my way up to arrogance.


Parenting Teens: Some Times You Need To Hold All the Cards to Win

Or in this case, all the keys. The car keys to be exact. We have a kid’s car. Since Princess was away at college this past school year, the car in effect became Ichabod’s car. Princess is home for the summer and the car has reverted to its kid’s car status. There are 2 sets of car keys to this car, but only one set could be found. Since Princess hasn’t driven the car since December and neither parent would drive that car, Ichabod was the likely source for having misplaced the second set of keys.

Several requests for him to produce the second set of keys were ignored. That would be of no surprise to parents of older teens. I was pretty sure I would have to use plan B, but as in all negotiations with teens the formalities, such as asking and being ignored, have to be observed.

Finally I informed Ichabod that if the second set of keys were not found by tomorrow, he would not have use of a car, any car, until they were found.

The next morning I gathered up ALL the car keys for ALL the cars and put them in my pocket. I got myself a cup of coffee, then I waited.

Sure enough, shortly before Ichabod wanted to go to the gym he asked me where his car keys were. I told him this was the day he had to produce the missing set if he wanted to use a car. He went to retrieve my car keys from their usual place and I then informed him where all the keys were....in my pockets - and he had to find the missing set if he wanted to drive a car. Protests started: How would he get to work!!! How was he going to get to the gym!!!! I calmly informed the carless child that I would be happy to drive him to the gym and to work, everywhere else he was on his own.

Then the denials of responsibility started: Princess lost the keys, obviously you (meaning me) lost the keys when you were cleaning ......

I told him I didn’t care how the keys were misplaced, but if he didn’t produce the missing keys he would not have a car.

Stomping and grumbling ensued. I went about my business, jingling as I went.

About 20 minutes later the stomping headed towards me. There was a demand for the keys so he could open the car and look in the glove compartment for the other set of keys.

Yea like I haven’t been parenting teens for a decade...I offered to come outside and unlock the car for him.

Lo and behold....the second set was located in the glove compartment of the car.

“Good thing for you, I have a good memory”, the boy said as he jumped in the car and drove off into the sunset.


As Seen On Facebook

I asked my wife if she would still love me when I became old and unattractive,,,,,,,,,,,,,, and she replied,,,,,,,, Yes, I do........


Do you have a favorite Facebook quote?

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