Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Entries from June 1, 2008 - July 1, 2008

Entries from June 1, 2008 - July 1, 2008


Our Favorite Mothe/ Daughter Chick Flicks

Our Favorite Mother/ Daughter Chick Flicks:

1) The Princess Bride

2) Ella Enchanted

3) Ever After

4) A Walk to Remember

These are not films about mothers and daughters. Matter of fact I think most of the moms are dead in the above listed movies, hmmmm. These are films the 13, 18 and 48 year old like to watch together.

The summer is long and hot where we live. We could use some more suggestions. Do you have a favorite mother/daughter chick flick?


Parenting Teenagers: The Difference between Accidental and Foolish Behavior

It is time to review again the difference between accidental and foolish behavior with my kids. I though this principle up years ago when my boys were going through one of those rowdy times boys go through and stuff kept getting broke. I would hear the plaintive voices of the boys proclaiming, “It was an accident. I didn’t mean to. We didn’t mean to. You never told us… fill in the blank: You never told us not to throw sock balls in the dining room by the crystal chandler. You never told us not to wrestle in the basement by the wall; we didn’t mean to trample our little sister as we wrestled in the basement. It was an accident. “

We had the usual parental rules: no throwing balls in the house, no wrestling in the living room etc. The problem with rules is that they create loopholes that clever children try to wiggle through. A parent winds up trying to cover all the loopholes, which is the kids’ plan. As long as a parent is loop holing the kids have wiggle room to do what they want and argue their case later.

Principle works much better than rules. There is no wiggle room and the responsibility to implement the principle rests with the kids not with the parent. Up to that point, I didn’t realize I needed an overall principle to govern the boys’ behavior in our home.

I though and prayed about the difference between accidents and foolishness. The difference is that an accident can’t be anticipated and foolishness can. This is the principle that helped cut down the damage the boys were doing to our home:

If you can reasonably expect something to get broken or someone to get hurt, that is foolish behavior. We discipline for foolish behavior.

Accident happen, even if there is harm, there is no foul. We don’t discipline for accidents. Clean up the mess; notify the proper parental unit if there is blood or broken bones. Foolishness can be anticipated, even of there is no harm (yet) there is a foul and we discipline or at the very least, allow our kids to experience the consequences of their foolish behavior.

I made all four of my kids memorize the principle. I made some of the boys’ friends memorize it also.

The nice thing about parenting by principle is that even though the circumstances change the principle still applies. The kids no long fling thing around the house and the little sister can move out of the way of wrestling teens.

Time to review it with the teens. For example: If you drive on empty is it an accident or foolishness that you are out of gas. Or if you don’t put the pool pass back in the basket, is it an accident or foolishness that a) you are paying to get into the pool now and then looking for the pool pass later or b) you are going to be late meeting your friends because you have no money and have to find the pass to go to the pool.

Sometimes I love being a mom.


Growing Older with Grace: More Hours in My Day: Insomnia

Some days I do have more hours in my day because I have fewer hours in sleep. Insomnia is one of the challenges of growing older. There are plenty of over the counter and prescription products available to help us get needed sleep. This one, I have found helpful.

First the standard medical disclaimers: I am not a doctor, nor am I providing medical advice. I would be happy to be paid to blog about this product, but I’m not…sigh. It has helped me get some much needed sleep, so I would like to share this information with other women who might find it helpful.

The product I use for occasional insomnia is Nature Made brand valerian . Valerian is an herbal product that smells like dead molding plants when you open the bottle. It is inexpensive and has no known side effects. Like all medications, you should check for drug interactions before using it, if you are taking any other medications.

Aside from the nasty smell, valerian has worked well for me. I first heard about it on The People’s Pharmacy radio broadcast. I was looking for something my then 11 year old could take for her insomnia. I take it about an hour before bedtime. Usually before that hour is up, I am sound asleep. I don’t think this product is helpful to those who can fall asleep but have trouble staying asleep. I use it only when I am planning on seven hours of sleep. I do wake up a little groggy but that is what coffee is for.

Like most women, I would love more my hours in my day, but not at the expense of less hours in my night.


Guest Blogger: The Myth of More

I will be away from the computer celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary! After 25 years we still like each other, how cute is that! Stacey at All Stacey, All the Time, is my guest blogger for today. I will be back online Lord willing, on Friday.

Growing up, we always lived in a big home. We always had the best back yard with an in the ground swimming pool and my dad always drove the newest luxury cars. Until I was 10 years old. That was the year my parents split up. We had to sell the big, beautiful house and move in to an apartment. Still, it was the biggest model in the complex - 3 bedrooms. We moved a couple of more times after that, but never again did we have the kind of luxury I experienced in those first ten years.

I have lived in this same house now for almost 13 years. It's small. It's really small. It's really, really small. There are days that I long for space. Every now and again I get the comment from different family members, "Can't you move?" or "Wouldn't you be happier with more room?" The answer is yes to both of those things. Sure, we could move to a house that's a little bit bigger but in all honesty, moving is a lot of work and I have to really think about why we'd be doing it. Has anyone ever died from sharing a room with a sibling? Probably not. Has anyone truly gone insane from sharing one bathroom? Possibly (there have been days!). I think that for us, we are doing okay, we're not thrilled to be here, but we're okay. We don't have secure/guaranteed incomes and we each never gave a thought to the importance of credit way-back-when but in all honesty, it wouldn't have mattered.

You see, my standard response to the family members that ask us why we don't move to someplace bigger is "Did having a big house make your marriage any better?" (considering that the 3 that would ask this are all twice divorced, the answer is always 'no'). That normally keeps them quiet for a while. My dad moved to Boca mainly because of the social status that gave him. He works his deli 7 days a week alone because he cannot afford to hire or keep help because of the cost of living in such a place. My sister was looking at million dollar homes to rent. MILLION dollars. There are three people living in the home. I can't wrap my brain around it. We watched so many friends lose their homes to foreclosure or have to sell to downsize due to layoffs and whatnot. I don't want to live that way. Neither of us are big career people. I'd rather have my husband home on the weekends. I'd rather be able to go on a vacation once a year that is paid in full (and not on a credit card) once a year. So many marriages fail because of financial strain. I don't see the point. If we go in to debt because of medical bills or something of that nature, I could stand it. But to go in to debt for a second bathroom is just not worth it.

It all comes down to wants and needs. There will always be things that I want. But I thank God every day that He has met all of my needs.


Gina's Zuchinni Soup

Gina at Gina's Weight Watcher Recipes has an excellent suggestion for my abundance of zucchini, zucchini soup. It sounds like a dish my family (at least the girls in my family) would enjoy.

Even if you are not on on Weight Watchers, Gina's site has healthy, easy and delicious recipes. If you are following WW' s her recipes have the WW points already calculated. The zucchini soup by the way is 1 point.

For ideas for what to do with your summer produce or farmer's market finds, visit Gina at Gina's Weight Watcher Recipes.

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