Fifty is approaching. So much in my life is starting to change. My main occupation for the last 20 years has been as an at home mom. I am really good at my job. However, that job is gradually being outsourced to the very children I have been raising all these years. Six more years and I will be done. There will be some parenting of semi-adults left to do. Parenting semi-adults is not the same as raising children. At least it’s not as time and labor intensive.
These last 20 years have been like a first cup of coffee. It wakes you up, it’s the start of the day, time to hit the ground running and get stuff done. I really enjoy that first cup of coffee in the morning.
It is getting to be time for that second cup of coffee. I hope to savor this cup more. There is still a lot to do, but this time, what I do will be more of my own choosing.
Parenthood has been a great adventure. There is something amazing about having the time to be actively involved is my children’s lives. It is a privilege, and I have enjoyed this opportunity.
Not that I haven’t wondered what life would be like if my husband and I had made different choices. If I had remained in the work force we would have more savings for retirement, for college, for travel, for donating. I could continue in my chosen career instead of starting out again in my 50’s. Sure of how good that first cup of coffee was, with very little changing I would be assured of the pleasure of my second cup.
For a short while I thought I had wasted my life by remaining at home instead perusing a career. I came to realize I had doubted my past decisions because the ones I am starting to make now are little leaps of faith, the potential for making a mistake rides along side the potential for continued purpose and joy in life.
One reason I was confident in my decision to be an at home parent is I am not the one who brews the coffee I so enjoy in life. Being a believer in Jesus means I have His assurance of an overflowing cup of His love and His plan for my life, even with some of the hardships Dave and I have endured together while raising our family. His plan has been one for our good.
It is time to start planning to have that second cup of life. I know the Master Brewer. Sometimes He has poured bitterness and hardship into my cup of life, but not often, and never more than I have been able to swallow with heaping spoonfuls of His grace and mercy.
Not being an at home mom means my future is no longer settled. It is time for change. Change in life is either scary, or an adventure, or a little of both. I’m planning to enjoy my second cup.