Entries from May 1, 2009 - June 1, 2009
We have run into quite a bit of silent disapproval from our friends with teens about our allowing Princess to fly to NYC and stay overnight, alone for her friend’s memorial service. Silence is good. The disapproval is understandable. When as a parent you allow your child to step outside the norms of your given community, whether you want to or not, you create pressure on other parents whose kids are also seeking levels of personal freedom.
If you are a parent who can’t take the pressure created by other parents’ decisions, you are going to be a poor parent controlled in decision making not by the desire to build character in your child but by the whim of your child using others decisions as her argument to justify her willfulness.
As parents we have had lots of practice dealing with the pressure created by other parents’ decisions. We have also done our share in creating pressure for other parents.
As a parent why you do what you do and well as what you do matter.
It is in explaining the why’s of what you are allowing or disallowing your child to do that helps to matures character. Thoughtless freedom, without limits breeds selfishness, the idea that my decisions are my own and if my actions affect anyone else that is their problem.
I am surprised at how much my teens have that attitude. It would be much worse if we hadn’t invested time in teaching, explaining and enforcing the importance of why or why not. The only two people who have to have a thought through, mostly consistent answer to why or why not somethingn is or is not allowed is you, the parents. Verbally communicating your decision making process to your child is as important as actively making a overt decision. (Just don’t expect your kid to always agree with your decision especially if their friend’s parents make a different one)
It is the practice of making decisions and the character of your child revealed over time, that when your semi-adult wants to do something that inspires fear on your part and disapproval on the parent of other parents, you are in the position to make the call based on the character of your child.
Even if you are really really worried.
Anyone else find their friend's disapproving of their parenting decisions from time to time?
As a young child: Eat whatever mom puts in front of you, hungry or not.
As a teen: Skip breakfast: Always on a diet: Except if there was some cold pizza left over from the night before.
Somewhere around late 20’s, early 30’s: Start to believe all those experts that say eating breakfast is a good idea. Eat breakfast again, whether hungry or not.
Around are forty: Start eating high fiber, good for you breakfasts...sigh
Approaching age 50: Life is too short: Eat breakfast if I am hungry or not as I choose. Will always choose a slice of cold pizza if the teens have somehow over looked it during their nightly raid on the fridge.
I am a bad mommy. Sometimes I find my 21 year old's frustration with adulthood too funny.
His science professer refused to accept his science report because Higgai printed his report on recycled paper. Recycled meaning one side of the paper was already used.
It was an eco-science coures titled: The Managment/Reuse/Recycling of The Earth's Resources.
Want to guess in which state Haggai goes to college?
4 Year in the making
6 Hours of testing
319 Korean Terminologies
66 Bible verses
60 Individual techniques
27 Self defense moves
2 Made up self defense forms
5 Different Board Brakes
3 Bo Staff Forms
6 30 Second sparring matches
Countless hours in the dojo
I am so proud of you.